This morning on the way to work I was thinking—don’t ask me why—about the prohibition of words like “cunt” in print. I wondered if I could get the prefix “Marxis-” asterisked out in the dailies, given that it’s almost always a prelude to something offensive. Just reading the word makes me think: “oh, God: what bright idea has someone come up with now?” I imagined Marx and Engels like Bunsen and Beaker in the lab….
Marx: Today, Engels, we’ll be demonstrating how pet theories can be justified by historical inevitability! We’ll be harnessing the power of SCIENCE for our own ends! But for this I will need a volunteer!
Engels: Mee mee mee meep, mee mee meep!
Marx: Don’t be silly, Engels! What could possibly go wrong?
[fx: twanging noise; Engels disappears in cloud of smoke to be replaced by ten-foot-tall and beanpole-thin Engels]
Marx: Uh-oh! Well, it could’ve been worse, Engels! It could’ve been communism!
Engels: [inaudibly high-pitched] Mip mip mip! Mip! Mip mip!
It’s probably funnier if you do the voices.