No! You fools! It’s all your collective fault! We’d have won if you’d only put out more flags, you fucking liberals! I hope you realise you’re all practically quislings in the War on Tomar.
I console myself with the fact that Witney will continue to be festooned with the glorious Cross of the Worm-Killing Turk for many years to come. After all, it’s hardly likely that the sudden explosion of England flags (many helpfully saying “ENGLAND” on them) has anything to do with eleven effete, slow-witted, misogynistic homophobic, anti-intellectual millionaires, paid by some of the poorer members of society, running round a pitch after eleven similar foreign Johnnies. How could it? How could anyone be such slackjawed retards as to put up flags solely to show support for such muscle-bound scum?