What is the sound of one hand drumming?

I don’t know if I’m the first person to sustain a bongo-related injury at a festival. Certainly it was a cause of as much amusement as swelling, although I’ve now found a medical use for that magical disappearing hand gel they stick in portaloos and on hospital wards: a combination of soapiness and evaporative coolant means it’s possible to remove a wedding ring from a bruised finger before the whole tourniquet’ed mess starts turning black. One for you budding St. Johnners out there.

This revolutionary discovery should compensate for the trend among nurses, their hands chapped to ribbons by the alcohol in such gel, to simply not clean their hands between patients. If they use enough of the stuff to treat swellings, proper soap might be returned to them as a stopgap. Someone get me the ear of Patricia Hewitt!

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