An open letter to Mr “Albert Pantygirdle”:
On the twenty-seventh of Monday of this year I submitted to yourselves a postal order and completed application form, for no less than twelve issues of your publication “David Gray Nazi Vicar”. Imagine my astonishment when the house-boy drew to my attention this morning that yourselves would no longer be publishing this particular periodical. The shock was such that I nearly dropped my pipe into my marmalade, an event that has not occurred since 1967.
Since my discovering your gross intransigence I have received no satisfactory response to my entreaties directed at the artexed ceiling of my humble abode. The entire matter, therefore, now rests in the hands of my lawyers (Smilk, Penge, Whirtbistle and Penge, Temple Guiting nr Cheltenham). Please do not attempt to contact me at any of the addresses you might have “on file”, as it were, as I have been advised by said gentlemen acting on my behalf to say nothing to anyone, ever again.
I will certainly not be renewing my subscription, unless your blog contains a good deal more hard cock in the future.
Dymock Smimmocks MEP (Mrs)