Sat Dav

Cameron’s hypocrisy over the environment (the entourage of cars following his bike, the de-bollocking of Zac Goldsmith, the kicking of Tory “environmental” “policy” into the long grass) and the work–life balance (his shadow cabinet having four jobs each) means it’s difficult to know which way he will slither next. In uncertain times like these any omen is better than none, however unreliable or spurious: so, to read the man, look to his electorate.

This morning was very misty north of Witney, which of course meant everyone drove as though there were nobody else on the roads anywhere. On the way to work I came across two cars, one having rear-ended the other at a junction known for people not really giving way: it looked like the first person had been daft enough to give way, the silly woman! And of course it was a woman! Hahahaha! Woman! Um, luckily, though, they neither of them had their hazard lights on to show they were stopped dangerously and semi-permanently in what was approaching fog on a sharp dogleg bend. Why should they? It’s not as though there are any double-yellow lines there.

As I pulled into the side road they were blocking, a car driven by an old, froglike gentleman was creeping up behind them. I could see him as I passed, coming to the junction, still intently staring at the two cars. Needless to say he didn’t make any signal left or right before turning. By that point the fog meant I couldn’t see which way he actually went. Perhaps he just bashed through the hedge opposite.

So, in summary of this behaviour (and the similar manoeuvres I see every morning) we see illumation of Mr Balloon’s character. For, though the laddie might well be for turning (Lord know he’s twisted in the past), he certainly isn’t going to give us any indication beforehand. And by the time his wheels have started to move, we had better just pray we’re not in his way.

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