Self-proclaimed “Funny” “Man” Richard Herring suggests that the government’s new tactic against the wave of Polish pÃ¦dophiles coming here and stealing our children should be to get them all too fat to chase kiddies.
What Mr Herring clearly doesn’t realise is that, while this might help the majority of our dear sweeties to escape entrapment, any children unfortunate enough (or enfeebled enough by television) to be caught by a forty-stone nonce can be cunningly sat on until the fiddler in question works out what evil, dirty, dirty acts to perform with them. In that time, nobody would be able to find them, ever, even with GPS, because arse-flesh can act as a makeshift Faraday cage when in contact with a child. So Herring is actually causing this minority, already the poor unfortunate victims of infirmity, to be more likely to fall prey to pÃ¦dos. It will come as no surprise to any right-thinking parent that “Richard” then goes on to joke about the disabled, who as we all know cannot fight back, except with sticks.
You’re a hard man, Herring. I only hope if you’re ever stuck between the heaving buttocks of a sweaty, morbidly obese pederast that someone will have considerably more pity on you.