I can’t believe that I’ve only just begun to appreciate the irony of having the Carbury, pardon, Cornbury Festival on the same weekend as Live Earth. Our local Cotswolds SUVaganza, more often referred to as Poshstock, is typically a gathering of the most complacent, selfish, middle-class, car-reliant mar-charld buffoons you can imagine, with a weak admixture of people foolish enough to come by public transport. It’s basically a car park with bands.
At one point it did look like the whole thing would thankfully and fittingly turn into mad-weather, climate-change mud, and every last posho and his foldup chair might just slide off the hillside into the fish farm. These past few days the roads round Cornbury were covered in a thick enough layer of dirt to plough them; and I heard rumours that stallholders were being kept off the main arena for an extra few hours to try to let everything dry out. But today there is the sun to dry it all out; and Finstock, Leafield and Charlbury are all built on hills and valleys that drain surprisingly well. so perhaps people will have to content themselves with touching up their cars with spray-on fake mud on the way out of the festival site after all.
In the spirit of this weekend’s unhoped-for environmental synergy, it’s worth celebrating what everyone hopes to be a turning point in environmental awareness by reprising a conversation that I think K. overheard at one of the previous Carburies, embellished for dramatic effect:
“You’ll have to park over there.”
“But that’s miles away from the tents.”
“It’s not that far away at all, and there’s a cut-through over there.”
“We really need to park near our tent. Look, there’s a car over there near the tents. Why can’t we park near our tents?”
“They’ve got a disabled person, so we’ve let them drive up there to drop them off. We’re only letting people onto the camp-site with cars if they’ve got special needs.”
“Well, we should be let onto the camp-site, then. We’ve got a special need.”
“Really? What special need?”
We’re all going to die, aren’t we?