No, Noel: the Glastonbury festival does not have a tradition of guitar music, although I suppose when you have a hammer for a head everything looks like a nail.
You’re thinking, if you could ever be said to be doing so at all, of Reading: Glastonbury, in comparison, is largely a mutated folk festival. Modern UK guitar music is one of many outgrowings from the British and American folk traditions—“straight” folk, music-hall, skiffle, white blues—and so does indeed have a place at the festival. Hip-hop—whether you like it or not, and I can’t say I’m particularly a fan—could be considered to have arisen as this and the previous generations’ interpretation of the African-American and Latino folk traditions.
So why doesn’t it qualify? If nothing else, the genuine article might squeeze out the usual racket-making white middle-class students, chewing on their dreadlocks in a yurt while they pound intermittently on the bongos they bought in Goa last year. I’d almost consider buying a ticket if I could be sure they’d stay at home.
By all means say something’s rubbish, but don’t hide behind this absurdly proto-rockist façade, asserting indefensible criteria for what is and isn’t suitable for consumption by a broad cross-section of around 100,000 people. Lord knows there’s plenty of us sick of you recycling that riff from Look Back in Fucking Anger, so don’t feel you have to turn up this year.