I'm not a racist, but I do play one on the wireless

Yesterday, Sir Henry Woburn managed a wonderful juxtaposition on his early-morning Tory Funtime Hour. Shortly before 8am, he made a risky-for-the-BBC if banal racist joke about the Japanese—yes, he used the word “rubbery” at around 21.5 minutes—and followed that after the news with a complaint about the government introducing a new top rate of income tax (35 minutes in). You see, it’s really clear to dear Henry that you could achieve the same thing by raising the basic level of income tax by one pence. But it clearly wasn’t “politically expedient to do so.”

Where do you begin? How do you start tackling such ignorant, selfish, money-grabbing, empathy-free opinions? Especially when millionaires like Woburn know all about political expediency, given that the entire system of taxation seems to be set up to benefit the rich. You have to admire the sheer brass balls of the man, of course, but for those of you who can’t understand why this geocaust-denying, anti-tax, anti-welfare self-serving millionaire would be chosen to represent a children’s charity, when (a) by the time the children no longer in need are also no longer children, they’ll have to deal with the catastrophic effects of climate change and (b) underfunded or failing welfare systems can only serve to make the needs of children far more acute, their poverty grinding, their opportunities curtailed….

Well, the clue’s in the bit that happened before the news. Sir Henry Woburn’s a perfect match, really, as long as the children concerned are all in the UK. So far, climate change is only ruining the lives of picaninnies, and they don’t really count.

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4 Responses to I'm not a racist, but I do play one on the wireless

  1. HTFB says:

    Speaking as a Henry by conviction, and a registered Henry nearly from birth, may I object with a loud “Harrumph” to your name for your villain?

    Your first mistake was listening to Radio 2 at all, of course.

    [Actually this comment is for the sole purpose of saying how much I like the word “geocaust”; very impressed that it’s Google-original to you, too. It’s a Greek-Latin hybrid, but what isn’t?]

  2. sbalb says:

    “Henry Woburn” just stuck, I’m afraid. The idea of calling the show “Sir Henry Woburn’s Tory Funtime Hour,” when the only accurate parts of the name are the words “Sir” and “Tory,” appeals to me.

    Anyway, I make both ge(o)- and -kaustos Greek affixes. Possibly one or other is Latin via Greek: what do you think I am, an anorak?

  3. Owen says:

    So you’re saying Russell Brand should phone Terry Wogan and tell him his granddaughters are fucked?

  4. sbalb says:

    Sometimes it’s like they understand every word you say, isn’t it? It’s so cute when they behave like they know just what’s going on!

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