More ridiculous doggerel


When your biscuit isn’t Nice
Or your bourbon is disturbin’
Or your custard “cream” is more a custard “paste”;
If your fig roll isn’t rollin’
Or your hobnob’s not hobnobbin’:
Please don’t let your broken biscuits go to waste.


Uncomfortable trouser! O thigh-pinching slack!
I can’t believe how much you’re hurtin’!
You wretched, maltailored, unmentionable things….
I wish I’d just bought them from Burton.

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2 Responses to More ridiculous doggerel

  1. 1looby says:

    Burns would have appreciated you.

    • smallbeds says:

      More likely he would have smiled in a very small way, sipped at his whisky-and-water, and kept shtum on the whole subject until conversation moved elsewhere around the table. I get that a lot.

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