Category Archives: christmas_2005
Santa is asleep, dead drunk on a rock ‘n’ roll combination of sherry and milk. Looks like someone’s been drawing on him in his sleep. Ssh. Don’t wake him. Get the camera first. Merry Christmas.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house/ Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;/All except Bjork who, with lips puckered out,/ Looked quite like a mouse with her hamsterish pout. Anyway, it’s Björk, isn’t it? … Continue reading
Serj Tankian, lead singer of System of a Down, recently declared at the MTV Music Awards that “Civilization has failed.” And that was before he got a box round his head.
John Lennon. He’s 25 years dead, and what’re you doing about it this Christmas? Parsonally, Jocahsta and I are hahlahting his plaiht by drouwing a bowx rahwnd him. Free Mumia.
Overwhelmed by seasonal goodwill, Shakira can’t stop blubbing, the milksop. Her mascara is running, and one can clearly make out the numbers “2” and “1” on her cheeks.
Get ready for the turkey! December 2nd’s George Foreman, standing idly to one side of this set of quality knives in a space-age brushed-metal block, clearly approves. I don’t think you can get fat-free basters, though.